Sadness
Sadness. It is such an uncomfortable emotion to talk about. Our modern society wants you to talk about happiness, indulgence, wealth. All the positive things but without the darker side of life, we could never really appreciate that light.
Sadness is defined by the APA Dictionary of Psychology as
an emotional state of unhappiness, ranging in intensity from mild to extreme and usually aroused by the loss of something that is highly valued (e.g., by the rupture of a relationship).
I have not always consciously equated the feeling of sadness to loss but that is the key word isn’t it? That feeling of loss of something you love, wanted, hoped for. When that feeling persists for a long period of time that’s when you get the different labels.
I remember the first time I watched Disney’s Inside Out on an airplane and cried my eyes out. Pretty embarrassing to cry that hard at an animated movie and on an airplane with lots of strangers but it is what it is. What part really took me down? When Sadness comforts Bing Bong over the loss of his rocket and plans to travel to the Moon with Riley. Then, Bing Bong makes the sacrifice to save Joy and Riley. Oh if you ever need to cry, just watch those 10 -15 minutes.
What hit me was the complexity of the feeling of sadness. As she comforts Bing Bong and allows him to talk about all his memories, he feel better. He has joy again and ready to go take on the task of saving Riley.
As adults, how many times have we had some loss that really was important to us only to bury the feeling and keep moving forward. We aren’t allowed in our society to have the true grieving time needed.
You have a family member with a serious illness. “Oh that’s sad. Thoughts and prayers.” Then 5 minutes later, “why aren’t you over that yet?”
You go through a divorce and are pressured to move on from that relationship without truly giving yourself time to grieve the death of the first one.
Job loss, friends move away, the economy wrecking your retirement plans, the list goes on and on.
Over the years, I have dealt with misdiagnosed illness, many moves, kids medical issues, and so many more things. Currently, our family is swirling in a sea of uncertainty with the health of my father. While we wait for a diagnosis and plan moving ahead, the reality of loss hits my heart very sharply.
One thing I have done very differently is take time to listen to my body. When I get snippy or want one more glass of wine that I don’t need, or just feel exhausted, I am stopping, meditating and asking myself what I am REALLY feeling. Many times just the fear of loss is what comes up and it makes me sad.
I stopped judging that I feel this way because I know it’s normal.
I have started diffusing and applying different oils than usual so I am better supported.
A few things can happen to your nervous system and immune system when you bury the emotion. Your nervous system can kick up the flight or fight response which leads to stronger negative emotions. Your immune system on the other hand is suppressed because of the nervous system response. That means you can pick up more seasonal threats and they can stick around longer.
Ever notice how so many families get a respiratory issue after a funeral? Grief settles in your lungs. It’s weird but our bodies are amazing when we let them work.
A few things to help you along the way if you are dealing with sadness. I am referfencing a great book by Oil Magic called Emotions.
Get your nutrition. You are better able to keep the body working well with good foundational nutrients. I suggest the VMG+ and Omegas
Try this protocol for a couple weeks.
3. Keep a bottle of Rose Touch with your to apply when you just feel you need a boost.
4. Give yourself the grace you would give others.
I can tell you first hand, as I am doing this process, my mind feels calmer and I am sleeping better. Sleep can have a huge impact on how you process the negative emotions.
"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
